What if George Bush was an SEO?
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What if this man were an SEO leader?
In part 2 of my 3-part Search Query Info, I’m going to devote an entire post to a thought I had that was generated by a rather unusual query: “SEO idiot Bush.” As we all are very much aware, George Bush has nothing to do with SEO.
But what if he did? What if he decided to enter the SEO world, and became a forum poster or a blogger or a conference speaker or some other form of SEO evangelist?
Here are some of the things I think he would say (and some are based on actual Bushisms). What do you think he would come up with?
- If you don’t rank for something, you don’t rank for anything!
- I believe in reciprocal link exchange for SEO benefits, just as long as I don’t have to link back to the other guy that links to me first.
- My site is an authority site because I put a Hacker Protect logo on it to police it.
- I’ll avoid duplicate content by repeating myself, but only on one page.
- Make sure you’re never misquoted on your own blog or website.
- Scraping useful content from other sites is okay, but stealing it is wrong..
- I’m going to try to see if I can remember as much about SEO to make it sound like I’m smart on the subject.
- These are big SEO ranking achievements , and the SEO firm ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved.
- Your keyword density is very important to search engines. Be sure you’re nice and thick in that regard.
- Matt Cutts? Yeah, I know him. He’s a Google engine.
- Don’t believe everything you read about marketing strategies, and only half of what’s written down.
- I know that domain age is important, but I’m the oldest of five children, so my brothers and sisters automatically rank for all my hand-me-down domains when I’m through with them.
- Link spam is wrong, and if you agree, please post the following code onto your blog:
<a href="http://www.walkonmypath.com/" mce_href="http://www.walkonmypath.com/">Blog Spam is Wrong</a>
- I hate spam bots, especially automated spam bots.

September 17th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
“On the internets” no one can here you f*** up?
September 17th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Lol interesting and funny post - the title made me laugh when I saw it in my live bookmarks before I even read the post
September 17th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Then the world would be a safer place and poor george would be having trouble feeding himself.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
I never looked at it that way, James. Great call!
MInd you, he’d probably end up getting burned 38 times by get-rich-quick schemes, but the 39th would work, goddammit! Right, John?
Dan: glad you liked it. Apparently it’s Stumble-popular too!
September 18th, 2007 at 12:33 am
He’d be the king of optimizing for misspellings, and words that don’t exist, though.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:42 am
I think if Dubya actually knew how to operate one of those computer machines, then we’d all be in trouble. And he’d prolly sound just like the above.
LOL’d at Forrests comment too
September 21st, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Mis-under-seo-mating puts food on your family.
September 21st, 2007 at 8:29 pm
heh I was wondering when “food on your family” was gonna come into play.